I’m typing this with my eyelids dropping below the forty degree angle but I’m not sure why. I think I just wanted to post the above picture of the card that went into circulation today, hoping to extend its audience from a rather pitiful five to a rather healthy eight, based on the readership stats of this blog. I knew it would be a mistake to blog as anybody other than Him and I’m reminded of ‘Unforgiven’ when ‘The Duke of Death’ talks about royalty having a certain majesty that makes it impossible to assassinate them. The same is true of celebrity and being a blogging celebrity. They are read irrespective of what they write. I suppose it has much to do with already being in the public’s psyche. What people know, they know. What they don’t... Well, that’s where the majority of blogs come in. Published by the masses, unread by the masses. I should pack in now before I waste the next two weeks of holiday trying to breathe some life into this place.
I digress, rather morosely too. I just wanted to talk about my card, the subtleties of which you’re sure to miss unless you’re a leisure consultant, worked with leisure consultants, or do a little leisure consulting on the side, perhaps as a hobby or charity work. If so, I’m sure you’ll see the genius of the piece. I have a feeling that it will be seen as a classic; the finest leisure consultancy-themed Christmas card that there has ever been.
And God bless the Gods of Hewlett and Packard for doing such as good job of printing it out. Can God bless Gods or would they just stand them for a beer? But I digress again...
I don’t normally go the homemade route for Christmas cards. Friends at University used to embarrass me with their finger painted daubs, which I tried to appreciate but couldn’t never avoid the feeling that I’d been short-changed out of a card. Woolly liberalism never came quite as woolly as my friends with their finger painted cards. Perhaps my work colleagues think the same about me and my ‘witty’ cartoon. Although I did think I’d save myself some money by producing my own, I really did it in order to make people smile. Which they did – perhaps out of pity – and my day way brighter for that. I would like to think that in a hundred years, these five cards will be worth a fortune, but I think the reality is that they’ll quickly turn yellow, the ink will peel off, and they’ll end their days torn to shreds and serving as bookmarks.
I have to now go off and scribble out three more cards. Once my family saw what I’d done for work, they immediately said that they looked forward to their cards. I seem to have set myself a precedent it will be difficult to break. I’m a one-man Hallmark.
7 comments:
I have also 'experimented' with home made cards... and you can see where it has got me!
i really wanted to photoshop a Wittgenstein wearing a Santa hat but when i started fiddling about with it realised i had no idea how so gave up. A great loss to the world.
It certainly beats my 'homemade' efforts in the past - funny photos of the recipient's childhood or of their cat in a santa hat. To avoid the embarassment of looking cheap I tend to opt for moonpig.com printing - I imagine the sense of feeling shortchanged by homemade offerings is central to their business model.
Hang on in there, chief. See you on the other side.
It's not proper homemade unless there's either cotton wool or glitter, or preferably both. And something stuck on half-heartedly with glue that falls off as the card comes out of the envelope (or before). Merry Christmas! And cheer up, you misery. Your blog's only 2 minutes old and most people are quite busy at the moment.
David, I love this cartoon. 'Rustic Donkey Pod' may become a new buzz phrase in consultancy circles. I'm off for Christmas now but many thanks for the amusing words and pictures. I'll catch up with you next year.
Mutley, you mean it's made you into one of the nation's premier bloggers? If so, I'll need to use more glitter.
Elberry, done. I sent it you last night.
Joey, that's where a quality ink jet printer comes in and the people at Ryman's who provided the blank cards. I think they work out at 50p each.
Brit, hanging on. I did you a card and then realised I didn't have your email address. I used it for the Madeley blog. It's the picture of the poet. See you in the New Year.
Lola, yes, I was in a funny mood last night. Really tired and only just back from work. Hard to believe that most people had finished for Christmas. I'm lucky than I'm not in today, given the office is open. I'm afraid I might have overdone it with the glitter on your card.
Brian, see you in the New Year. I might have another blog open by then where I can hide away all my cartoons.
I hope you all have a great Christmas and a very profitable New Year. I also hope you come back. I really do appreciate your support, even though I can be a right miserable sod at times. ;o)
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